Dear Mr. B. H. Obama,
In light of recent events, I just thought I’d drop you a note and let you know how I feel about your healthcare bill. Given my current situation, I feel as much a right as anyone to comment on this bill. So, please, read on and hear me out. I know it might be slightly tedious, but just pretend it’s a giant teleprompter and everything will be just fine.
I am 27 years old. I am underemployed in a state where about one in five of us are under employed, or unemployed. (For the Congressman reading over your shoulder, tell him that’s about 20%. Remind him that 20% is more than 8%). I have three jobs currently, one which I may lose to justifiable state budget cuts, another which depends exclusively on wealthy citizens and their financial well-being, and another which is non-profit, and very part-time.
I lost my job early last year, and within four months my wife lost her job. I managed to remain under-employed, and find work within two weeks. Yes, Mr. Obama, there is a God.
My wife was not so fortunate. After four plus months of unemployment (the real life kind, not the check-collecting-kind), my wife landed work at our local fine Scottish food emporium, also known as McDonald’s. (I understand your wife isn’t a big fan, but then she doesn’t pay my bills either.)
We had done what your budget and congress could not do—we set aside money beforehand. In spite of this, our collective job losses cleaned us out, and we gave up our lease on our little apartment. Yes, we were technically homeless. From October ’10 to February ’11, we lived in someone else’s spare bedroom. It was about the size of Michelle’s walk-in shoe closet, but hey, it was sheltered and warm. Thank goodness our friends didn’t let us fall too far, because we would have had no other help if not for them.
Now, my wife and I haven’t had healthcare for a long time. To give you an example, my last trip to the dentist was in my teen years, at thirteen, or perhaps even twelve. My wife is about the same. No money, no dentist—we’ve never reached median income for the US.
Two years ago my teeth finally gave out. I couldn’t eat without pain, and a lot of it. Since I’m broke, cereal is a major part of my diet. Imagine how hard it is when you can’t even eat cereal. We were in desperate need of dental care. I had a motorcycle…a nice one. Maybe not by your Harvard/Yale standards, but I thought it was pretty nice. I sold it to pay for my dental care. It was my baby, you know. When you only own a few nice things, you tend to appreciate them more, you know?
After selling the bike, we still owed $1200. So we paid $400 a month and paid the debt off. Shocking? Yes. God knows we didn’t get the idea from your senators or congressmen. Guess what? My fillings have all, each and every one of them chipped, cracked, or flaked off. $3400 buys me this? I guess.
My wife’s teeth are a mess. Cavities and a desperate need for braces are at the top of her list. Her bill will be at least as big as mine, but I own a junker bike now, and money’s tighter than it was.
I have intestinal trouble too. I feel sick to my stomach most days. Sometimes I eat something and I get violent diarrhea. Other times I just feel gross. We don’t know if it’s food allergies or parasites. The $1200 doc bill really isn’t in the budget, savvy? So I’m riding it out. It’s a doozy…I don’t know what will aggravate it. It’s like playing Russian-roulette with my bowels.
My wife has had the same pair of glasses/lenses, and tennis-shoes for the last five years. Thank goodness the tax-man didn’t pick our pockets too badly, and some of our return is buying her a pair glasses. And shoes. Just one pair though. We don’t do extras, or frivolous things like $500 sneakers…oh, too close to home? Sorry. (But seriously, dude, $500 sneakers to a homeless shelter? Cultural insensitivity fail.)
Our car is paid for (I know, I know, the congressmen fainted), but it will need a timing belt in the next year. Maybe tires too. Struts are also a possibility.
I haven’t been to any M.D. in almost five years.
I go to school, and my wife works like a dog. Then I go to work and she gives me a ride. Then we go home and do it all over again.
Now you’ve heard my story. Now hear me, Mr. Obama. I don’t want your healthcare. I don’t care if it’s free. I don’t care if you were to pay me to take it. I don’t want it, and I don’t want my millionaire friends from my second job getting taxed for it. I don’t want my wealthy families members paying for it via your hand in their pockets. (Hey, the money has to come from somewhere. You weren’t going to pay for it, right?) Leave my rich friends out of this.
If I want healthcare, I’ll go buy it myself. Once I graduate, I’m going to make some good money (provided you don’t take 70% of it like they do in Europe), and I’m going to go buy myself the healthcare of my choosing. I don’t need yours, I don’t want it, and I don’t want to be forced to take it. You dig?
Now, if you’re smart, you’ll ask yourself why. Well, it’s pretty simple.
Social Security is broke. There ain’t any money in there—it went to your multi-trillion dollar budget. Medicare, and Medicaid are broke too. When we tried to get food stamps, they “lost” all our information…and promptly dropped us. Unemployment is a joke too; we never did get that. Every time I go to the DMV or post office it’s an understaffed nightmare, with waiting times that approach the ridiculous, and fees that make me sick. You’ve not delivered on too many (maybe even any?) of your campaign promises. If your healthcare looks like any of these or rinky-dink outfits, then we are unequivocally screwed. I have no reason to think that your program for healthcare would be any different than your other programs. And no, I don’t want to give you the chance to “try” it (see previous paragraph on funding).
So that’s my story. I’m broke, I’m not super healthy, and the last thing I want is you and your pompous wife ramming healthcare down my throat. I’ll stay sick rather than take “charity” from the government. I’m uninsured, and proud of it.
I’m an American, and if I need healthcare then I’ll just go get it for myself with cash, not on borrowed Communist Chinese debt, and not on the siphoned dollars from the wealthy. Until then, I’ll be happy to stay lucky or sick, on principle alone—and you can use that healthcare bill for toilet paper for all I care.
If you do ram that atrocity of a bill into law somehow, and the conservatives don’t have the good fortune to financially castrate that abomination, I’d like to request that you add a clause that denies care to the aging. They do this in Europe all the time by denying heart surgery to the aging, so this shouldn’t be a problem. I realize it will be difficult to sell, but I’ll do my part and help by delivering S.O.L. messages to that old duffer, Harry Reid and his old-bag-buddy Nancy Pelosi when they need surgery.
Thanks for reading. I snickered as I wrote that, just FYI.
Sincerely,
Me
PS: if you were wondering what you CAN do to help, I’d appreciate it if you cut taxes for my wealthy landlord so he has no reason to raise my rent. Also, if you could do it for the people at my second job at the golf club. That way they’d eat and drink more there, and I could get back to bartending. It’ll work, trust me.
