Era of Idiocy: Grounding Moonshot Beer

            It’s the era of idiocy—especially in government. More and more the nation irreversibly charges into the realm of the nanny-state, and the idea that the common person cannot look after their own good. But the almighty Federal nanny isn’t exactly a powerhouse of common sense either. The Fed ends up doing what it does best: making an idiot out of itself while stepping on the common citizen. Case in point? Look no further than Moonshot Beer.

            Moonshot was featured in the documentary Beer Wars, which came out in 2009. Dogfish Head brewery, Moonshot, Samuel Adams, and a few other small-time entrepreneurs were featured as well made, craft-breweries taking on the giant corporation of Anheuser-Busch. Moonshot was unique in being one of the first if not the first beer with caffeine in the brew. Moonshot front-woman Rhonda Kallman said in the documentary that Anheuser-Busch was her biggest threat—they had made a caffeinated beer of their own, and had illegally offered free cases to stores that would carry the brew over hers. The law in her state prohibits such activity, but obviously that never stopped Anheuser-Busch, nor did it protect Kallman. The law never helped her one bit.

            Kallman’s problems continued with distribution. Under federal law, a brewery may not sell to retailers directly, or even online. Instead, they must use what’s known as the three-tier system. This nightmare of laws and paperwork was enacted to help create a regulated system that prevented monopolies. A small-time brewer would say it does exactly the opposite: it creates a system where only large corporations are favored. Kallman struggled to find investors for her company, but she also struggled to get her product to retailers. The middlemen delivery companies were tied up with million-dollar accounts with the Big Three brewing corporations. In this case the law didn’t just leave Kallman out to dry—it hindered her almost completely.

            Still she struggled on. In one interview she said the only thing that wasn’t leaned or mortgaged were the kids—and she would keep them. Her husband, while fully supportive, said that if Moonshot didn’t take off, they’d lose everything—house included. Even so, he was confident in her resilience and in her ability to bounce back from the flak she took for trying. It seemed like Rhonda Kallman was the incredible bobo-doll: no one could knock her down for good. So it seemed.

            Moonshot was finally brought down—not by “evil” corporate America, but by the federal government. The FDA ruled that Moonshot was too dangerous for consumption, and in spite of Kallman putting up a fight for her product, family, children, and company, the fed would have none of it. Her beer contained 69 mg of caffeine—as much as a can of Pepsi. But big brother knows best. If what the Kallman family stated was true, the collapse of Moonshot cost them their house and a bankruptcy. Kallman had another brand started, but the collapse took out the secondary company before it had a chance to become self-sufficient.

            This is a picture of the idiocy that is our government. Mixing Redbull and vodka (which is very popular) is like Moonshot on steroids—and Redbull doesn’t contain as much caffeine as Monster, or Rockstar, which are also popular mixers. Yet all these combo-mixer drinks are completely legal. Does it stop there? Unfortunately, no. Jack-and-Coke, Rum-and-Coke, Baileys-and-cofee and other popular mixed drinks contain high levels of alcohol and caffeine. Is it good for the human body? Probably not. But the federal argument against Moonshot was akin to saying, “Cigarettes from Marlboro, and Camel are outlawed because they cause cancer and are too dangerous. But you can roll your own and put whatever you want in them and smoke those instead.”

            In the end, any one of the aforementioned drinks is legal to order and consume at any bar—and they all probably have as much or more caffeine and alcohol than Moonshot, given the right proportions. Moonshot came under fire probably because it was both ingredients in one bottle. Is mixing one’s own drink less dangerous, or is the fed just that stupid?

            In the end, Moonshot may not have been a great product. Light beer drinkers seemed to like it, though many connoisseurs didn’t care for it. Was it a gimmick or a good idea? The truth is, we’ll never know. The fed failed to protect Ms. Kallman from violations of the law by other companies, they failed to allow her a fair opportunity via the shipping laws, and finally they simply quashed her altogether. They did all this while “worse” drinks were made and served everyday in bars across America.

The market, the people, the consumers are the ones who should have decided if Moonshot was a bad idea. If they didn’t like it, they didn’t have to buy it, and eventually it would go away. Despite this, the fed has moved into nanny mode to decide which beer (among other things)  is best for the consumer. Wake up, America. This is your government.

(Author’s Note: I have never tried Moonshot, and even if given the chance I probably wouldn’t try it. The whole concept never appealed to me, and I’d rather just have a coffee if I needed caffeine. That said, still I believe in a free market where people can decide what they want without an idiot politician telling them what they can have.)